Understanding Eating Disorders in Men

jowatson00
Jun 29
4 min read

Updated: Jul 20

Eating disorders don’t always appear as we expect. This is especially true for men. They may not start with body image issues or involve dramatic weight loss. Often, they go unnoticed. Many are disguised under labels like anxiety, gym motivation, or even picky eating. Some men won’t recognize their struggles because they do not conform to traditional images of eating disorders.

The truth is that many boys and men grow up under immense pressure. They feel compelled to control something in their lives. This pressure can manifest as a need to be strong, successful, and tough—never vulnerable. For some, food may become the only thing they can control.

The Hidden Client

In my experience, I once worked with a young man seeking help for anxiety. Let’s call him J. J was kind and quiet. He wanted to do everything right. Navigating school was hard, and friends were few. Perfectionism was his survival strategy.

Though there were signs of an eating disorder, they didn’t raise alarms. Despite being underweight since childhood, he didn’t appear unwell. He wasn’t purging and didn’t discuss his body. He came across as merely anxious.

As we worked together, we explored his relationship with food. J had strict rules around his diet. He avoided certain meals and never ate in public. His body was always in survival mode.

With calorie-dense shakes, emotional safety, and nervous system regulation, J’s world opened up. His energy returned, allowing him to travel and rebuild confidence. Most striking was that without our conversation, he might never have realized he had an eating disorder.

The Neuroscience of Silence

Neuroscience provides insight into this issue. Shame can effectively shut down communication. When someone feels ashamed, it becomes harder to articulate their experiences. This challenge is particularly pronounced among men, raised not to express vulnerability.

The prefrontal cortex, which governs planning and decision-making, can become overwhelmed by anxiety. When in survival mode, thinking clearly about food becomes impossible. It’s not simply a matter of willpower; it’s a nervous system response.

Moreover, dopamine pathways in some men, particularly those who are neurodivergent, can focus excessively on rules, routines, and appearance. This fixation can often be misinterpreted as discipline rather than a red flag for an eating disorder.

What Male Body Image Really Looks Like

Many people perceive eating disorders as a “female issue.” This stereotype, however, has left countless men feeling confused, ashamed, and isolated.

Some common issues include:

Muscle Dysmorphia: In this condition, being muscular is not enough. The individual feels pressure to be lean and shredded.
Restrictive Eating: Some may restrict their diets to delay puberty, particularly neurodivergent or anxious boys who fear change.
Gym Obsession: This behavior can mask compulsive tendencies under the guise of fitness.
Binge-Restrict Cycles: Often, men hide these patterns behind late-night eating, alcohol consumption, or sports pressures.

Even the “Dad Bod” trend can contain deeper emotional issues. Body confidence doesn’t erase the underlying body image struggles many face.

So Why Don’t Men Talk?

There are several reasons men often hesitate to discuss these issues:

Lack of Communication Skills: Many men were never taught how to articulate their feelings.
Gender Bias: The language surrounding eating disorders is still steeped in outdated stereotypes.
Fear of Vulnerability: Admitting “I don’t feel good in my body” can feel like a betrayal of masculinity.
Cultural Norms: Men are often praised for control and perseverance. They may underestimate the importance of emotional expression.

Many of the men I work with do care deeply about their issues. They just haven’t found a safe space to express these feelings.

Famous Examples and Why They Matter

Notable figures have spoken about their battles with eating disorders, like Gary Barlow and actor Christopher Eccleston. However, the list remains short. The stigma around eating disorders often silences voices before they can be heard.

There is a pressing need for more men to share their stories. We also need more therapists trained to recognize these signs. It's essential to convey that one doesn’t need to fit a specific image to deserve help.

If You’re Reading This and Wondering…

You don’t have to wait for a formal diagnosis to seek support.

If food feels like it dominates your life…
If you feel panicked when you skip the gym…
If eating feels unsafe, shameful, or secretive…

It’s okay to talk about these feelings. It is also okay to ask for help.

What Recovery Can Look Like

Recovery is not about becoming someone else. It’s about becoming more yourself.

For many men, recovery means:

Building Inner Strength: Developing resilience from within.
Self-Acceptance: Learning to feel good about oneself without needing to prove anything.
Peace with Food: Finding freedom in life and comfort around food.

I’m Becky Stone, a neurodivergent therapist. I help teens and adults navigate trauma-informed eating disorder recovery. I work with men, women, and non-binary clients who don’t feel “sick enough” to ask for help. You deserve support, whether it’s about food, anxiety, or simply feeling at home in your body.

Find out more at www.counsellorwhocares.co.uk

If you found this blog helpful, I share honest, trauma-informed insights every single week on recovery, self-worth, and what it means to feel good in your skin.