Relationship Struggles After Having Kids: Why It Happens and How to Reconnect
- jowatson00
- Jun 7
- 3 min read
Being a parent is one of the most rewarding things in the world. But let’s be honest, it can also be one of the most exhausting, overwhelming, and relationship-shaking transitions a couple will ever go through.
If you’ve recently had a baby or are in the thick of raising toddlers or young children, you might find yourself wondering where your relationship has gone. You may feel more like housemates than partners, or notice that little things you used to brush off now trigger bigger arguments. It’s not just you. Many couples quietly experience this shift after becoming parents, but few talk about it.
At Tandem Mediation, I work with many couples who come to me saying, “We love our kids, but somewhere along the way, we lost us.” This blog explores why that happens, what it means for your relationship, and how therapy can help you reconnect.
Understanding Relationship Struggles After Having Kids:
When young children enter the picture, life changes dramatically. Your time, energy, sleep, and focus are suddenly redirected to meeting the constant needs of your child. It’s natural, but it also means your relationship can slip to the bottom of the priority list.
Some common challenges I hear from couples include:
Communication breakdowns: Misunderstandings increase, patience wears thin, and conversations feel more like admin meetings than meaningful connection.
Loss of intimacy: Emotional and physical closeness can fade under the weight of exhaustion and routine.
Feeling unappreciated: A Common Relationship Struggle After Kids: one or both partners may feel unseen or unsupported, especially if roles at home are uneven or expectations aren’t clearly expressed.
When Parenting Styles Clash: Relationship Tension After Kids: Even couples who felt aligned before children often realise they have very different ideas about how to raise them, leading to tension.
Why Communication Breakdowns Happen After Children
Many couples don’t bring these issues up because they feel guilty or ashamed. There’s an unspoken pressure to be grateful, to feel joy, and to cope without complaint. But this pressure can silence important conversations - until the disconnect becomes impossible to ignore.
This pressure can silence important conversations until the disconnect becomes impossible to ignore. Many couples experience relationship struggles after having kids, but don’t realise how common and normal it is.
You might be wondering:
“Is it normal to feel this distant from my partner? ”Are we just going through a phase, or is something broken? Can we get back to the way we were?”
How Couples Therapy Can Help
Relationship support doesn’t have to be a last resort. In fact, the earlier you seek help, the easier it is to shift things before resentment builds.
As a therapist and family mediator, I offer a compassionate space where you can:
Talk honestly about how you’re both feeling
Understand how parenting has affected your relationship dynamics
Learn tools to improve communication and reduce conflict
Reconnect as partners, not just co-parents
Whether you're struggling with constant arguments, feeling emotionally distant, or simply missing the closeness you once had, therapy can help you find your way back to each other.
It’s OK to Ask for Help
If you recognise yourself in this post, please know that you're not alone. Parenting is intense and all-consuming, but your relationship matters too. It’s the foundation that holds your family together.
At Tandem Mediation, I work with couples across the UK via online sessions. My specialist training in relationship psychotherapy means I bring both practical and emotional insight to our work together, helping you feel supported, heard, and empowered to make positive changes.
Want to find out more or book an initial session?Feel free to get in touch:📧 jo@tandemmediation.co.uk
📞 07521037092
You don’t have to wait for things to get worse. Rebuilding your connection starts with one small step.
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